I lay on the floor and look up at the ceiling: the ceiling fan and light fixture, still and unlit. Everything is shades of white and beige and pale pale purple. The light coming through the north-facing window has a slight orange tinge, colored by smoke and ash that drifts against the glass. I'd say we never asked for this, but we've been asking for it for centuries. The ceiling is white, or a pale grey, and the shadow of the fan seem cold and empty and far away. I think about my grandma and how she lay in a hospice bed at the house she shared with her husband, my grandpa, the house she lived in for I don't know how many years, the house where she and he raised my dad and all his brothers and sisters, the house where she smoked cigarettes in the kitchen making pancakes with frozen blueberrie and where she tended her garden and delicately removed the tinsel from the tree each year to save it for the next, and how she died there, at that house, looking so small and pale and translucent. I think about this while I stare up at the ceiling fan and the lightly cratered ceiling and I don't know how anyone does anything anymore, besides love, and remember.
Grateful Dead Bootlegs and Various Spacecraft
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 48 pages. 2014.
I've Been Looking for God for like Twelve Days Already
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 36 pages. Edition of 20. 2014.
LOL ur Only a Real Californian If u Were Born Here
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 40 pages. Edition of 20. 2015.
Every Record in my Dad's Record Collection
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 24 pages. Edition of 20. 2015.
19 Billion KM Away
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 24 pages. Edition of 20. 2016.
I've Never Felt So Close To You As When We Were Weightless
Laser-printed, saddle-stitch book. 36 pages. Edition of 20. 2016.